Expectations and Obligation Energy
How do you feel when you hear someone tell you what you should and shouldn’t do?
You should do this or that. You should read this. You should eat better. You should exercise more. You should call your mother. You should ... You should... You should. So many well-meaning friends and family members, but it can create a lot of obligation energy, anxiety and resentment.
I'm so intrigued by the cultural & familial expectations that are so abundant in our society. Many of us have spent a lot of our lives trying to fit in somewhere or do something that someone else felt was right for us. It’s exhausting trying to meet the needs & demands of someone else.
There is so much pressure to fit a mold – to fit in a safe, contained, comfortable mold. There is also much pressure to behave in a certain 'expected' way when things happen. A patterned 'way of behaving' to a particular situation is expected, even taken for granted, by all those involved.
Some expectations are certainly warranted and definitely in the best interest of everyone and society as a whole. There are certain things that expand our sense of connection and feeling like loving people such as being kind, being polite, opening doors for people, and smiling and saying hello.
I tend to be an over-functioning member in some relationships. I have always jumped in, taken over the situation trying to figure out what was best in my heart, landing in the ‘should’ game. This pattern has been created through a lifetime & I realize that I have 'lovingly' bulldozed my way through circumstances without feeling the full impact of that behavior on myself or on anyone else involved. I should’ve known better, right? I am re-educating myself as to what is my responsibility and not feel obligated to do more unless I consciously choose to do it. It is a learning curve.
Another sharp edge of expectations and obligation energy is that it can take away our power. Giving our energy to doing something that is expected of us, we may feel powerless, like we have no choices. We can get comfortable in our discomfort of living up to other people's expectations and become numb to living our life fully. In this process of learning, we need to know and understand ourselves better so we can love ourselves more. When we are here, we can then discern and decide what feels right to us at any given time – thus, allowing us to make better, life-enhancing decisions.
I invite you to pause – in making choices and decisions. Pause and reflect, feel the choice within you. Lean in and listen. This discernment is eye-opening, painful and extraordinarily freeing. Unravel old, outdated & non-useful patterns thus empowering you in your life.
Stand in your power and lean into your authentic heart to listen and honour what You need and want, and establish an authentic, expansive, loving relationship with yourself and others. From this place, you can choose more consciously which 'expectations' you are willing to step into and which you will walk away from.