What Do You Avoid & Why?

In this incredible world of choices and changes, we are given, daily – in fact, hourly – opportunities to step into a greater truth about ourselves and life.

Every relationship we have including partners, friends, spouses, work, familial and especially with ourselves, plants seeds of growth for our unravelling, and re-learning how to be more kind, loving, respectful, responsible and honouring. They absolutely drive us onto the freeway home to our hearts to be authentic and true every day.

Every situation and circumstance we create or become a part of in this life, is encouraging a deeper level of connection and understanding while evoking the truth of who we are. These are enormous pathways on our journey in life as we progress forward.

The relationships we are born into and those we cultivate as we evolve can provide the landscape for the most beautiful unfolding, remembering and elevation of our hearts, minds, and souls. These same relationships can also evoke deeper, hidden fears and insecurities that test the merits of who we are (& who we believe ourselves to be).

Relationships & their dynamics change. We change. Those we are connected to and involved with, also change. Change is inevitable. In the process of change, we all endeavour to become better versions of ourselves – more loving and whole. But, when we are challenged to our core, the discomfort and pain that arises due to cognitive dissonance, can become too much to bear and we begin to pull back and away from the perceived source of our pain. We avoid ‘them’ at all costs. We avoid the pain, the interactions, and the possibility of deeper pain. We avoid.

In the withdrawal from a relationship, we think we are protecting ourselves from the hurt. But, in many cases, we are avoiding facing a bigger truth of our being. In that withdrawal, we lose a chance to face something we are confused about, at odds with, evolving from or evolving into. The pain can be felt so deeply – and we run. It hurts. It’s too much in this moment to bear. We hide back into the delicious discomfort of the known. The pain of remaining where or who we are seems manageable and a better choice for us in this moment. 

Circumstances and situations can do the same thing in stifling our forward momentum. They can slow down or even curb our growing into the full potential of who we were born to be.

Many times, we choose to stay where we are – to believe what we think we know out of a fear of change – a fear of the unknown – a fear of being seen in our humanness. Our intention is to stay the course – regardless of the outcome – as we believe we can control the situation or circumstance and make it fit our reality. But, if we give it a chance, if we open ourselves to a possibility beyond our control – if we have faith in something bigger than us - & trust the process further, sometimes what we avoid can become our greatest teacher.

It is written into our DNA to evolve, to learn & integrate what we believe into a better version of ourselves. It is a driving force to excavate the layers of life, the filters, and the protection we have used to survive. We are meant to live full out, to connect with others, to see & be seen, to lean into life including the pain and discomfort, to teach us compassion, empathy, resiliency, forgiveness, & kindness on our path of awakening to our true self.